Rant: Feeling the need for change...

Perhaps today?... I have realized something. This past year has been crazy for me... by that I mean, a lot of changes, some bad some good. I think have changed a lot, whether the people around me see it or not... I feel like I have. Whatever is different about me or whatever is here now that wasn't before, it doesn't matter. All I know is that, where I am right now is somewhere in the middle of figuring my life out. And heres why...

 I am so young and I still have a long way to go before I get anywhere established... Im not on the fast-track going somewhere asap. I forgot that life is about enjoying the journey. Where I want to be is not necessarily the direction that I am heading in right now but Im making it there, slowly. I would much rather take my time and enjoy my youth, trying for something while laughing along the way. I don't want to miss out on the best of things. So, a U-turn perhaps? a track switch? If anything, Maybe just a new way of thinking? If I need to take a break, take time, get refocused, go on vacation, find a new job, Try something new... I can. I forgot that I can. Isn't that funny? I forgot that I have no one to report to but myself. I forgot that my life is mine. I forgot that I don't have to look to other people for approval. I forgot that everyone deserves to be happy (including me). Im not going to let anyone tell me Im taking steps backwards, sideways or any direction to be considered 'the wrong way' Because...

If I imagine myself 60 years from now looking at a road map of my life, I don't want it to be a straight line drawn in pen with a ruler. I would find much more satisfaction in myself if it was a crazy bunch of misdirected penciled lines. All leading somewhere different around the page, with a few that may have been erased and redrawn a few times. A beautiful pattern I can trace with my fingers and smile upon, without regret. 

as corny as this post is, I thought is was necessary to rant
{mostly for my own sanity...which has been lacking thereof lately.}.

"When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story."

P.S If there is any kind of advise I can give to others about 'happiness' it would be this: Live your life. Do what you want to do, when you want to do it and don't necessarily think to far into the future. And In the words of the most handsome John Mayer, 'Say what you need to say'. Otherwise, it will end up coming out in a way you don't intend it to, Probably at very bad time, in a very bad way. And you will regret it. %100 guaranteed.

P.P.S Any suggestions for good books I can take on vacation with me? I'm headed to dominican in just over 2 weeks. yessss.

okay, rant done.



  1. Inspired thinking Amanda .. there are many people older than you who haven't yet figured this out - and most of the people who believe their lives are going in a straight line (with some sort of 'something' reward at the end), are actually running around in circles getting nowhere .. all the best and enjoy your holiday .. {;o)

  2. thanks! & running around in circles is a good way to put it, because really... what is the reward?



Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...